Thursday, April 26, 2012

Back With a Vengeance.

As the weather turns warmer, so, too, does the golf season, where Dr. Dave spends most of his spring days. A bad golf game is no match for Dave, for it can always be cured with an ice cold Budweiser. Until one day, when a velociraptor appeared on hole 4 feasting on a flock of ducks in a nearby pond. “Not today,” replied Dave, who charged his golf cart into the raptor, severing off his attack claws. The raptor was stunned for sure, and tried to regain strength. It was too late. Dave took his driver—his Ping i15 Titanium—and beat the raptor over the head repeatedly until unconscious. He continued on his golf game and managed to shoot a brilliant -9.

Afterward, Dave drove to the nearby clubhouse, where he imbibed on not one, but two Bud Heavys.

“What a game,” he stated calmly.

Welcome back, Dr. Dave. Welcome back.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Rick defeats an Ankylosaurus.

Always the clever chap, Rick deceived a wandering Ankylosaurus by fueling his prized yard with extra strength Miracle Grow. The grass grew to be so powerful that it entrapped the Ankylosaur and strangled it immediately. To punish the beast further, Rick then beat it senseless using his Prince EXO Silver 118 Performance Tennis Racquet and his 7,300-page memoir. After the annihilation, a fellow fraternity brother cheered Rick's birth-given name, "Mad Dog", in celebration of conquering the dinosaur, while also greeting him with two glasses of Macallan 18-year. Photo by Wubbies.

Friday, August 20, 2010

A Triceratops is No Match for Dan.

Dan was approached by a triceratops while enjoying a batch of his favorite German dark brew. Rather than spoiling his relaxing evening with a vicious battle, Dan simply hacked his way in to the brain of the triceratops in effect poisoning its mind with an endless loop of 1's and 0's. the triceratops was no match for Dan's computing power and collapsed instantaneously. Image provided by Nell.

Rick Harpoons a Plesiosaurus.

Rick sucessfully harpooned a large plesiosaurus from his sailboat using his favorite tennis racket while on his annual family plesiosaurus hunting trip off the coast of Maine. The seven glasses of scotch he had enjoyed had no effect on his perfect form. Kill shot - through the heart.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hughes vs. Stegosaurus

Here we see the mighty Hughes conquering an unsuspecting Stegosaurus. Armed with a singing "Mountain Banshee" (as seen in James Cameron's "Avatar"), his chorus of singing felines, and copious glasses of Pinot Grigio, the poor Dino's head literally burst forth from its neck and it was no match for the incessant drunken recitations of Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes."

Donn For The Win.

Donn encountered a stegosaurus while on a leisurely Sunday drive in his yellow 1965 Shelby Cobra replica. He made the swift decision to run it over while playing Hendrix's "Cross Town Traffic" at top volume on his custom Fender Stratocaster, causing the beast to bleed profusely from its ears and mouth.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dr. Dave and The Brachiosaurus

Dr. Lewis is much like Knight Rider and/or Batman. He has many gadgets to get him around. One being the Dodge Viper GTS Coupe. Which spits fire. On to the giant Brachiosaurus. Dr. Dave also used his great ability in Inorganic Chemistry to sway the giant dinosaur to imbibe a toxic chemical which emitted a foul toxin only to drown and poison the creature to utter extinction. After the tragedy, dinosaurs could not come within 1700 yards of the toxin without falling to their death. He didn't even need to use the machine gun. Way to go, Dr. Dave.